Worms and Flowers

Lawn Warts/Chainsaw Fantasy

Posted in Garden by Lzyjo on July 28, 2009

Generally, I am a lover of all things in the garden, but I do have a few pet peeves that just drive me crazy. They are: lawn warts, aka bushes, and rogue plants growing amidst the intended planting. By rogues, I don’t mean the odd weed, or wild flower, I mean. Stuff like an elm with a 2″ truck growing from the root of a diseased rose bush, or, a trumpet vine growing from a forsythia.


Oh man, I had to trim that sucker back so many times last year! Wow, they grow fast, you’d think it’wer kudzu! This year I slacked off and it flowered.
Hummers, where are you?!


this, a pointless privet, invaded by a powdery mildew-infested lilac, which never blooms, and a oak, that came from who knows where, okay, it came from an acorn, but who knows where the acorn came from.


Unsightly to say the least.


Somebody, please tell me why there must be two lawn warts on an undefined pathway to the mailbox, is it so I can stand next to the road, trimming them, while cars trucks hurtle by? Or, is it so the person riding the lawn mower gets to do doughnuts around them? It’s not even on a level plane, for cryin’ out loud!! Can you picture me tilting, squinting, and crouching down, like a golf player, to even those two up! Oy! What a joke!


Count them, two more, smelly, no stinky, (they stink we smell them) boxwoods. They may smell, they may take up space and shade the garden, but at least they don’t require continuous trimming, like the privets.


There’s more but I won’t show them to you, there are a total of seven blobs (privets) pointlessly scattered around the yard, without rhyme or reason. Besides the seven privets, one, which almost resembles a hedge, about 10 feet long,  and the two boxwoods. Do you have any idea how long it takes to trim those with hedge shears, dull ones to boot. Me neither!

I vow, if I ever own a little home, my first landscaping project will be renting a chainsaw to saw down any alien lawn warts!

Is there something in your yard that is a continual nuisance?

6 Responses

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  1. tina said, on July 28, 2009 at 7:45 AM

    Ha! Funny lawn warts. I don’t mind them so much but those rogue plants growing in them would have to go for sure.

    GRRRR! It makes me so mad that someone did not take care of the problem when it was manageable!!! It drives me crazy!! I’m not very good at killing things.

  2. Dawn said, on July 28, 2009 at 9:32 AM

    Yes, it is the hardy blackberry that grows everywhere, especially this year with all the rain! I like your boxwood, I need more greens though.

    The blackberry certainly are everywhere! You can have my boxwoods 😉 Trust me, they look a lot worse than the picture tells you!

  3. jgh said, on July 28, 2009 at 12:23 PM

    Aw, these aren’t so bad. I’ll have to show you a pic of this one house in my neighborhood. Full of warts. All over ther front lawn!

    My big nuisance is weeds. Worse than ever this year because it’s been so wet.

    LOL! Like I said, I didn’t show you all of them! It’s senseless, I tell you. I think that’s what they call “landscaping” out here in the boonies!!!

  4. Faith said, on July 28, 2009 at 6:39 PM

    I imagine someone, at some time, had an idea for landscaping that they never proceeded further than those privets. I’m sure it must have been lovely as they were picturing it, but it sort of loses something in the unfinished version, doesn’t it!

    Keep whacking them. Eventually those roots will tire out. 🙂


    Yikes, that had never occurred to me!! if it is partly done, what were they going to do? Cover the entire lawn with privets!!! {Mutters curses and shakes first in general direction of the yard.} I will get them. ARRRRHHHGGG!

  5. mothernaturesgarden said, on July 29, 2009 at 4:48 AM

    I have some mature forsythias growing next to the house with a walk running alongside. it is a constant battle to keep them trimmed. It is one of the things I want to change. I saw this huge hedge trimmed to look like elephants which was attractive. That would require even more trimming.:(

    OMG! An elephant! I can only imagine! They must have some small/sharp pruners! Forsythias can be so wild and raggy, they certainly aren’t suitable for all locations, I think they do best out of the way.

  6. deb said, on August 12, 2009 at 2:05 PM

    a set of four crape myrtles that have never bloomed due to that same powdery mildew but this year I licked it with diluted Murphys oil soap sprayed on the branches before the leaves popped and several times after they unfurled. ACTUAL FLOWERS on two of the four …more spraying needed but at least its nontoxic!

    Murphy’s Oil Soap! I had no idea!! Thanks for the super tip!

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